Fake it till you make it

There is an American drama called “ Brothers & Sisters “.
It’s about a family and it’s fun to watch it.
When I watched it, there is a good word in it.
“ Fake it till you make it.”
I understand it and it’s right.
It means if you can’t forgive someone, you should pretend to forgive someone.
Then you forgave someone without knowing.
It works. If you get mad at something, you should pretend not to get mad.
Then you forgot it.
Speaking of that, we do that usually.
You pretend to do something.
If you didn’t do that, you couldn’t have relationships with anyone.
It’s very easy and simple also I do that often.
I really wanna forget one word from a friend.
But I can’t forget it and it is still in mind.
But I should pretend to forget it.
I got it! I’ll fake it till I make it!
By the way I took this picture at Daikaku-temple in Kyoto last weekend.

Sky Watch Friday***Happy things have come.

　

I heard there are only two things in life.
One of them happens in real life.
Another of them happens in mind.
You can’t change the thing that happens in life.
But you can change the thing that happens in mind.
Don’t waste your time to think about things in the past also in the future too much.
You deserve being happy. Happy things have come.

Happy sky watch Friday

calligraphy*

I went to learn calligraphy for the first time.
Though I’ve been interested in calligraphy, I hadn’t learned it yet.
I borrowed books about it at the library and checked out schools.
But I don’t have enough money to learn it since I’ve learned other things.
This time it was very lucky to learn it not to pay much money.
It was easy to draw it more than I imagined even if it’s just a hobby.
Italic letter that I learned this time is kind of easy and it was good for beginners. I really enjoyed doing it.
So I wanna do it in my relaxing time.
All people who took part in the lesson were calm and kind.
Everybody enjoyed doing it also communicating to each other.
I was able to spend comfortable time in the afternoon in holiday.
I'm looking forward to take next lesson and I'll practice it from now on.

be hospitalized from last Saturday to Friday

When I had to be hospitalized, my sister and her husband drove me to the hospital.
I was gonna cry when I thought I couldn’t go home for a while.
Getting on the car, I felt that I couldn’t believe I had to be hospitalized and I wanted to run away. My surgery was decided all of sudden. So I had to go to a hospital where it took 2 hours to drive from my house. I don’t know why I didn’t want to get to the hospital soon, we were stuck in traffic and couldn’t seem to get there.
Getting to the hospital, I finished procedures and went into the room.
Then my sister put stuffed animal of Doraemon and a small figure of Popo in Dragon ball.
I was allowed to go out for a while and went to a restaurant for lunch.
I usually eat a lot but I didn’t have an appetite because of being nervous.
So I couldn’t eat even a half of spaghetti.
After getting back to the hospital my sister, her husband and my husband was there with me until around 4 in the afternoon.
It was fun when I was with everybody and I was able to forget the fear of the surgery.
In the evening I had to prepare for the surgery and everybody got home.
When they left there, they said “ It’s not scary. You’ll be fine. “ to me and I cried a little bit.
My husband was gonna cry and my sister’s husband said “ Popo is with you. All right.
No worries.” Like Popo. Popo had been watching me in the hospital.
Mr. Popo lives in the temple of God in Dragon ball.
My sister was sweet even though I took it out on her two weeks ago.
She cried on the car when she read email from me to say thank you to my family.
I heard it on the phone when they were on the way home.
The surgeon made a book the room for me. So I went into the private room.
The hospital was bright and beautiful because it was still new and there was a small screen to watch TV and movies like planes. In addition I was able to see website.
At first I wanted to go into large patient’s room because I was scared to sleep alone.
But it was good to choose the private patient’s room.
I was able to talk with somebody on the phone and I was allowed to be up after time for lights-out.
My husband called me some times and my sister’s husband emailed back to me while watching the GP Final of the figure skate for me.
On the day my mother made Oden that is one of Japanese dish for family who cared me
all the day. When she brought it, my husband asked my mother and my sister’s family to
eat it at our house. But my family went home because they wanted to come home at early night.
I heard my husband looked lonely when they came home.
I went to bed around at 11 and I was waked up at 6 in the morning.
This picture is Popo in Dragon ball and stuffed animal of Draemon that my sister put in the
room and my favorite stuffed animal and towel that I use in the bed.

bread and love

　

On the second day I started to go to hospital, I ate a toast with peanuts butter after getting
home since I had to eat something to take a medicine.
By the way I ate only bread on the previous day, too.
When I lose my appetite, something that I want to eat is definitely bread.
When I have a fever, I've eaten French toast not Kayu(rice gruel) since I was a child.
I was a princess in France in my previous life.
At night my mother called me. She was worried about me very much.
She said " I'm worried about Aya's body. " I didn't imagine it at all.
So it took as a surprise to me.
I wasn't able to see my mother being worried.
Because I just thought " Why is this happening to me? "
I went to the operation room twice for nothing.
And she was worried my body after the treatments even few times.
I'm worried a little. If I don't have to do it, I don't wanna do it.
I said " I don't wanna but I'm getting back on my feet.So I'm fine. " to her.
I'm pleased mother 's worried me.
People say " Children sometimes do something wrong because they want to feel
their mother's love. " It's kind of similar.
Of course I didn't mean to but I'm feeling mother's love when she's worried me.

climbing a ladder

I was hoping it would be good after the terrible surgery. But I needed another treatment
at the hospital.
So I went to the hospital in the early morning on the following day.
I had a stomachache also my feet hurt since my feet got stiff during the surgery from
being terribly nervous like running full marathon.
Getting to the hospital, I was a patient in urgent need of treatment. So I was able to
have a blood test first.
I lay on the bed at the room before the treatment and dozed off.
I had a nurse measured blood pressure at the bed.
She said “ You had a surgery yesterday, didn’t you? It would be hard for you. “ to me.
After a while the treatment started. It hurt very much and I felt that something burned and
I said something loud.
After the treatment it hurt more than after the surgery. So I rolled on the bed for two hours.
On the day I climbed a ladder from the low of the lows bit by bit.
I got back on my feet because of emailing with my friends and sister.
I was able to enjoy reading the traveling essay written by Haruki Murakami for a while.
But I didn't have an appetite even though I didn't eat much on the previous day and I hadn't eaten anything on the day.
I lost about 2kilos.
By the way this picture is castella that my friend baked and soap that she made.
I was so pleased she sent me something that I wasn't expected.

I'm in a freefall.

　

It was raining and a little bit cold on the day when I had a terrible surgery that I didn't want to have again.
I cried on the day when Doctor told me I needed have the surgery also on the day when I had
the surgery since I was scared. I couldn't have a good sleep.
I went to the hospital wearing a cap that I didn’t want people to see my face.
I lay on the bed at the room divided by a curtain before the surgery, I don’t know exactly why but I couldn’t stop crying.
There was a woman who had a surgery, too next to my bed.
She seemed to have the surgery for the first time and she asked something cheerfully to the nurse. After a while the nurse called her and she went into the operation room.
And then she got back to the bed.
She talked to the nurse cheerfully but I heard she cried after the surgery.
Doctor who operated was an old man and used to operating. He was very kind to me.
He said “ I’m sorry. But I’ll do it well and it won’t hurt. “ to me because I went into the operation room crying.
The nurse put her hand on my chest during the surgery and I was encouraged.
Her hand was warm and if she hadn’t put her hand on my chest, I would’n’ve stood the pain.
I thought the same thing when I had the surgery last time.
I felt devastated on the day.
I didn’t see bright hope in life and I wasn’t moved at anything.
Reading a traveling essay written by Haruki Murakami, I couldn’t tell anything at all.

Sky Watch Friday

Have a lovely weekend!

Happy sky watch Friday

How much longer?

I cleaned my house well last Sunday.
I cleaned side the house also scrubbed tiles of the balcony and the entrance and poured water
in the sash and scrubbed it.
When I finished cleaning my husband left home and went traveling on business.
I went out with him and went for jogging to the park.
Actually I wasn’t in the mood to jog.
So I decided to go to the large public bathroom.
It was really hard to jog after a long time.
My heart hurt. But bit by bit I got used to jogging and time passed without knowing.
There is my favorite course even in the park and I kept my feet moving in the course.
I wasn’t mood to jog but when about 50 minutes passed, it felt good and I was able to
jog rhythmically.
It might take time to get used to doing something for me.
Running is easy.
The only thing I have to do is just moving my feet and the more you make efforts,
the faster you can run.
You don’t need go along with somebody and you don’t need to have patience.
They say marathon is like life but if marathon was the same as life, how easy it’d be.
How much longer do I have to run to live easier?

Sky Watch Friday ** I got a message

I got it.
Hang in there.
Just keep it up and never give up*

Happy sky watch Friday

time I think of when I feel happy is .....

　

I baked rolled cake for a younger colleague who took maternity leave.
She emailed me three times on the following day also two days later.
She said “ Is it persistant? This rolled cake is really good. My husband said the same thing. “
When somebody compliments, I feel happy.
It’s different time when people feel happy.
The best time I think of when I feel happy is having lovely time with my family,
meeting good music, finding out an old associate who is uneasy at work crackling on the phone,
hearing the uneasy old associate saying “ Girl in Tokyo is on the phone.” to another associate,
being able to make my dishes and sweets incredibly,
Stepping into the airport of the country after landing when I go abroad.
It’s no end when I pick up something when I fee happy.
By the way this picture is the rainbow-colored sky that I saw at Tennozu-airu in Tokyo.
My camera couldn’t take the beautiful picture of the sky. It was the rainbow-colored sky
not the rainbow.

The things that make me feel intrigued

The things that make me feel intrigued are
listening to and singing songs of a movie " Mamma Mia ",
imagining that my sister acts in a scene of Mamma Mia and sings a song on the beach,
seeing a scrapbooked notebook of pleasant words from friends,
saying funny jokes that I come up with in my mind.

my favorite smell*

　

The smell of my favorite perfume,
trees at the park after raining that it smells when I jog,
fresh trees in spring when I feel that all lives bloom,
coffee that a master makes at a cozy coffee shop,
tea that friends make when I go over to their houses,
wrapping papers that I used to getting something for Christmas from Santa Claus,
frying fish from someone's house that it smells when I go for a jog to the park,
the smell of cherry blossoms, lavenders that my father-in-law sends,
the sunshine from the mattresses that we call Futon that is dried when it's sunny,
dishes that my mother whips up from something in fridge when I go to her house all of sudden.
By the way this picture is a shinning bug that I saw when I went to Kinugawa.

My favorite sound

The sound of doing dishes, beating eggs to make scrambled egg, cutting leaks
to make miso-soup for breakfast, pouring water to glasses, making coffee with
siphon coffee maker,
putting ice in the glass, stirring water and ice with straw,
swinging leaves by soft winds,voices and sounds by a baseball team in junior
high at a far ground during a summer vacation, the sound of small fireworks
that I feel the end of summer, heels that thin ankles wear,
footsteps that my darling comes home and unlocked the entrance door.
( Is it cheesy? Of course it' s joking!)

humming

I often hum during working.
It’s not that I hum when I have fun.
I often hum because I’m busy and I don’t have space in mind or people at the same division get angry and I don’t wanna care it.
Humming makes me delightful and I can treat people well after humming.
I can communicate with people delightfully because my mind turns delightful after humming.
And then people around me turn delightful.
I’m not sure people around me hear my hum. I think people hardly hear my hum.
I hum various songs.
I sing western music that I listen to in the morning.
In this morning I hummed a Japanese pop song in the program without knowing when
I watched TV last night.
In addition I hummed a Japanese old dance music that I heard in the summer festival last weekend.
When I hum, I don’t think anything. The point is one of good things about hum.
There is a love song called “ Mystery train “ sung by BON JOVI.
This is one phrase of this song.
She cries because she's happy
She sings songs when she's mad
I like the woman like her!

the last summer festival

Last Saturday there was the last summer festival and fire works exhibition this year.
I didn't look forward to going to the event and I looked forward to drinking while seeing fire works.
On the previous day my husband came home around at eleven at night.
Eating out together and I said " Let's go and get some alcohol for tomorrow. " to him.
He said " I don't go there tomorrow because I'm exhausted. " to me.
And then his phone rang and my sister's husband called him.
My husband said " Yeah, we were just about to go and get alcohol, too! "
I laughed and said “ You said the other thing now! “ to him.
So, on the day of the summer festival when I got there, there were lots of people at school already.
There was an annual event at the exhibition. It’s old Japanese dance by junior high school students. I look forward to seeing it every years. But this year they didn’t dance hard.
It was too bad. They might be too young to understand that it’s cool to do everything hard even if they don’t want to do it.
The summer exhibition is a small festival for people at the town and it looks like old Japanese festival.
The fire works aren't shot like the big fire works exhibition.
So it finishes soon. But it's wonderful to see them that bloom on the right above.
There was only one bad thing that I got drunk soon since I drank while seeing fireworks right above.
When I stood up after a while, I got a head rush.
Even if the fire works exhibition is over, summer festival was not over.
When the famous Tokyo-dance played, we called out and enjoyed dancing with others.
My family can enjoy doing anything.
The event was over and when we went to the entrance of the school, a person who has a problem of eyes walked alone.
I talked to him because my mother worried him.
We ended up walking to his house together.
This summer we enjoyed spending time at various places.
Small beer garden in the town, fire works exhibition, rented bungalow and the summer Festival.
This summer was short but it was a really wonderful summer.
Only one thing that I wanna in this summer is snorkeling.

rolled cake delively

A friend from blog lives 7 minutes walk and train from my house.
Another friend from blog livess 10 minutes walk and train.
It’s a small world.
I got expensive cosmetics and some bread that she baked from her.
So I brought a recipe book of bread and rolled cake that I baked to her.
I called her in the evening and said “ I’m on my way home from work. And I’ll bake rolled
cake and I wanna bring it to your house at 7:30 at night. Are you at home? “
She was pleased and said “ Yes “ even though I called her all of a sudden.
So I got home right away and baked rolled cake with brown sugar that I just bought.
I made the cake and whipped cream with only brown sugar.
It was my first time to bake cake with brown sugar not white sugar.
I tried to eat some and it tasted sweet but not too much sweet.
White sugar taste sweet clearly but brown sugar tastes sweet softly.
I found it this time!
I went to her house all of a sudden but she said “ Wanna come up for coffee? “ to me.
I was more than willing but I decided to go to her house next time even though I wanted
to go to her house. And I went to a large grocery store near her house.
An hour passed quickly since I started to look for good kitchen tools.
I got some PYREX and something. And then an hour and a half hour passed without
knowing.
I ran to my house for ten minutes.
She lives next stop from my house.
I’ll bake cake and visit her house.
I can get one more fun thing since I was able to bake cake.

the past

Last Sunday my sister and her husband picked us and went to an exhibition of model railroads.
My sister’s husband told us a TV program about model railroads.
Starting to see it, we’ve into model railroads.
In the exhibition there were many model railroads that win in the competitions and somebody
made also many shops.
But I got bored to see it only for 30 minutes because I see great models on TV.
And I nodded off at the bench near the exit.
On the way home we decided to go to a familiar Ramen shop.
When we waited for Ramen, we heard a popular song called “ Go West “ sung by Pet Shop Boys.
I tapped rhythm and the song made me go traveling to the past.
Sometimes don’t you miss something of the past.
Sometimes I can’t stop
Sometimes I can’t stop missing something of the past and feel melancholy. I miss days that
I can't go back to even if I can't go back.
It doesn't mean I miss somebody. I miss me being young.
But it’s not like I don’t like the feelings. It’s a little bit bitter and like the loneliness of crush.
I could drink a lot with only this feelings.
By the way I took this picture at Daitoku temple in Kyoto.

summer vacation

There are a lot of small falls and much water around Kinugawa.
We didn't have any plans. So we decided to go to Ryuoukyo that my husband came up with.
Getting to the parking lot an old lady with umbrella leaded the car.
Pulling over as she leaded, we found out that she was a lady at the cafeteria around there not attendants of parking lot.
She looked like a witch and said " We keep having cold water and we'll wait for you.
We didn't imagine what a wonderful place Ryuokyo was.
There was much green and there were small ponds and spring water ran from the top of mountains. This spring water was rivers and falls and fell down to the pale green river among the white valley.
Mizubasho grow up at the part of the place. So you can enjoy seeing them in spring.
My sister's husband said " When the leaves change color, let us come back here." while laughing.
There are lots of place that you can enjoy walking but it seems difficult for really old men.
When we got back to the parking lot, an man spoke to my sister. He said " Why don't you eat shaved ice?" to her.
He kept speaking to her and insisted on buying it and said "You should eat it. Cause you look almost like getting sunpoisoning.
Actually my sister had decided to buy it. But she didn't buy it since the man pushed her too
much. Relationships could be the same as business. Pushing too much is not good for them.
We passed through the shop and went to the parking lot. Then the woman who spoke to us
before we went to the falls. She said “ We have cold water for you. Come to our place!”
Probably many people used to go traveling to Kinugawa by companies’ trip.
There are old big hotels that aren’t used anymore.
I understand people at shops and cheap restaurants spoke to us many times.

Sky Watch Friday *** Am I a nice guy?

　

I hardly have said " You're a nice guy."
There are lots of people have strong characters at the division.
People say “ I’ll try treat people calmly. “ or “ Your attitude is very good I think. I’ll do it like
you. Teacher. “ to me.
Every time they say it, I think I’m not the woman like their words.
Do I act something? Do I wear a mask? I’m not sure about myself.
Do I have a big head since people flatter me? Do I flatter myself? Do I have characters that
I should fix? and all that jazz….
This might be opportunities that I see myself.
What am I afraid of? I’m afraid of myself when I flatter myself and I’m not humble.
Staying being in the same place for a long time, people flatter themselves easily.
I’ll be careful not to have a big head even though I should have a confidence.

Happy sky watch Friday