Saturday, October 24, 2009

be hospitalized from last Saturday to Friday


When I had to be hospitalized, my sister and her husband drove me to the hospital.
I was gonna cry when I thought I couldn’t go home for a while.
Getting on the car, I felt that I couldn’t believe I had to be hospitalized and I wanted to run away. My surgery was decided all of sudden. So I had to go to a hospital where it took 2 hours to drive from my house. I don’t know why I didn’t want to get to the hospital soon, we were stuck in traffic and couldn’t seem to get there.
Getting to the hospital, I finished procedures and went into the room.
Then my sister put stuffed animal of Doraemon and a small figure of Popo in Dragon ball.
I was allowed to go out for a while and went to a restaurant for lunch.
I usually eat a lot but I didn’t have an appetite because of being nervous.
So I couldn’t eat even a half of spaghetti.
After getting back to the hospital my sister, her husband and my husband was there with me until around 4 in the afternoon.
It was fun when I was with everybody and I was able to forget the fear of the surgery.
In the evening I had to prepare for the surgery and everybody got home.
When they left there, they said “ It’s not scary. You’ll be fine. “ to me and I cried a little bit.
My husband was gonna cry and my sister’s husband said “ Popo is with you. All right.
No worries.” Like Popo. Popo had been watching me in the hospital.
Mr. Popo lives in the temple of God in Dragon ball.
My sister was sweet even though I took it out on her two weeks ago.
She cried on the car when she read email from me to say thank you to my family.
I heard it on the phone when they were on the way home.
The surgeon made a book the room for me. So I went into the private room.
The hospital was bright and beautiful because it was still new and there was a small screen to watch TV and movies like planes. In addition I was able to see website.
At first I wanted to go into large patient’s room because I was scared to sleep alone.
But it was good to choose the private patient’s room.
I was able to talk with somebody on the phone and I was allowed to be up after time for lights-out.
My husband called me some times and my sister’s husband emailed back to me while watching the GP Final of the figure skate for me.
On the day my mother made Oden that is one of Japanese dish for family who cared me
all the day. When she brought it, my husband asked my mother and my sister’s family to
eat it at our house. But my family went home because they wanted to come home at early night.
I heard my husband looked lonely when they came home.
I went to bed around at 11 and I was waked up at 6 in the morning.
This picture is Popo in Dragon ball and stuffed animal of Draemon that my sister put in the
room and my favorite stuffed animal and towel that I use in the bed.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

bread and love


On the second day I started to go to hospital, I ate a toast with peanuts butter after getting
home since I had to eat something to take a medicine.
By the way I ate only bread on the previous day, too.
When I lose my appetite, something that I want to eat is definitely bread.
When I have a fever, I've eaten French toast not Kayu(rice gruel) since I was a child.
I was a princess in France in my previous life.
At night my mother called me. She was worried about me very much.
She said " I'm worried about Aya's body. " I didn't imagine it at all.
So it took as a surprise to me.
I wasn't able to see my mother being worried.
Because I just thought " Why is this happening to me? "
I went to the operation room twice for nothing.
And she was worried my body after the treatments even few times.
I'm worried a little. If I don't have to do it, I don't wanna do it.
I said " I don't wanna but I'm getting back on my feet.So I'm fine. " to her.
I'm pleased mother 's worried me.
People say " Children sometimes do something wrong because they want to feel
their mother's love. " It's kind of similar.
Of course I didn't mean to but I'm feeling mother's love when she's worried me.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

climbing a ladder


I was hoping it would be good after the terrible surgery. But I needed another treatment
at the hospital.
So I went to the hospital in the early morning on the following day.
I had a stomachache also my feet hurt since my feet got stiff during the surgery from
being terribly nervous like running full marathon.
Getting to the hospital, I was a patient in urgent need of treatment. So I was able to
have a blood test first.
I lay on the bed at the room before the treatment and dozed off.
I had a nurse measured blood pressure at the bed.
She said “ You had a surgery yesterday, didn’t you? It would be hard for you. “ to me.
After a while the treatment started. It hurt very much and I felt that something burned and
I said something loud.
After the treatment it hurt more than after the surgery. So I rolled on the bed for two hours.
On the day I climbed a ladder from the low of the lows bit by bit.
I got back on my feet because of emailing with my friends and sister.
I was able to enjoy reading the traveling essay written by Haruki Murakami for a while.
But I didn't have an appetite even though I didn't eat much on the previous day and I hadn't eaten anything on the day.
I lost about 2kilos.
By the way this picture is castella that my friend baked and soap that she made.
I was so pleased she sent me something that I wasn't expected.

I'm in a freefall.


It was raining and a little bit cold on the day when I had a terrible surgery that I didn't want to have again.
I cried on the day when Doctor told me I needed have the surgery also on the day when I had
the surgery since I was scared. I couldn't have a good sleep.
I went to the hospital wearing a cap that I didn’t want people to see my face.
I lay on the bed at the room divided by a curtain before the surgery, I don’t know exactly why but I couldn’t stop crying.
There was a woman who had a surgery, too next to my bed.
She seemed to have the surgery for the first time and she asked something cheerfully to the nurse. After a while the nurse called her and she went into the operation room.
And then she got back to the bed.
She talked to the nurse cheerfully but I heard she cried after the surgery.
Doctor who operated was an old man and used to operating. He was very kind to me.
He said “ I’m sorry. But I’ll do it well and it won’t hurt. “ to me because I went into the operation room crying.
The nurse put her hand on my chest during the surgery and I was encouraged.
Her hand was warm and if she hadn’t put her hand on my chest, I would’n’ve stood the pain.
I thought the same thing when I had the surgery last time.
I felt devastated on the day.
I didn’t see bright hope in life and I wasn’t moved at anything.
Reading a traveling essay written by Haruki Murakami, I couldn’t tell anything at all.

Friday, October 02, 2009